SELF & EMOTIONS
What is Emotional Infidelity and How Can You Overcome It?
It isn’t cheating if there’s no physical intimacy involved, right?
We usually associate infidelity with engaging in sexual acts with someone outside one’s relationship.
However, unfaithfulness doesn’t only happen when you physically cross the line.
Emotional infidelity can happen. Sometimes, it’s even more painful and damaging than its counterpart, as stated by 56% of men and 73% of women (Couples Academy, n.d.).
But what is emotional infidelity? How do you know you’re veering into unfaithful territory even without committing any sexual acts? And most importantly, how do you deal with it?
What is Emotional Infidelity?
Emotional infidelity happens when you nurture emotional intimacy with someone other than your partner. You invest your time and energy in building a connection with them until you reach a degree that exceeds your current relationship.
This might start unconsciously. You’re comforted by someone’s kindness or have a meaningful conversation with them. “Friendship” blossoms, and you connect more regularly. One thing leads to another. Before you know it, you depend on them for emotional support, and your partner vanishes from the picture.
Signs of Emotional Infidelity
Emotional infidelity is subtle compared to its physical counterpart. But, if you look more closely into your relationship, you can catch signs of its inception. Here are some of them:
- You spend less time with your partner and more time with the other person. It’s by neglecting your relationship that your “friendship” becomes a cause for concern.
- When you receive good or bad news, you think of telling the other person first rather than your partner. It’s alright to confide in someone else, but they shouldn’t be your “go-to” and cause you to lack communication with your partner.
- You keep your connection a secret. Why keep it hidden when you’re not doing anything wrong? Otherwise, you know in yourself that you’re bordering on unfaithfulness.
- You lack intimate moments with your partner. The other person receives more affection, care, and insight into your innermost thoughts and feelings.
- Others interrogate you about your friendship. They can also sense that what you have is more than just a “friendship,” despite your claims otherwise.
How to Deal with Emotional Infidelity
Reflect on your situation and recognize the affair as it is. With the determination to fix your relationship, recovery is always possible. Take these steps to patch things up with your partner:
1. Discuss your problem.
Come clean about what happened and explain what led you to develop an emotional affair. Also, express your needs in the relationship and recognize where you and your partner started falling apart.
2. Maintain boundaries.
Cut off communication with your emotional affair partner. Then, moving forward, limit your interactions with others to protect your intimacy, like avoiding going in-depth when discussing personal matters or seeing friends only within a certain regularity.
3. Seek counseling.
Talk with a psychologist or marriage counselor to understand your issues and find appropriate ways to address them. A trusted person’s perspective will help you see things objectively.
4. Reignite the flame.
Treat each other like you’re in love for the first time. Be expressive in your affection, give each other gifts, and go on dates. Remember why you chose to love your partner and rekindle the fire you had at first.
Protect Your Relationship
A lot of couples slip into emotional infidelity but realize later that it’s not worth giving up their true love for.
Be familiar with this temptation and protect your relationship before it’s too late.
Reference:
Couples Academy. n.d. “Facts And Statistics About Infidelity.” Couples Academy. Accessed May 24, 2024. https://couplesacademy.org/facts-and-statistics-about-infidelity/.
