ADVICE
Should You Stick to a Monogamous Relationship?
Everything around us is changing — communications, travel, infrastructure, and, believe it or not, relationships.
Couples nowadays prefer fluidity. They want a relationship that can be easily adjusted based on their ever-changing lifestyles. Add to this the many difficulties of monogamy or the so-called “traditional relationship,” and more people are considering new forms, such as polyamory and open relationships.
Research shows that one in six people has the desire to engage in a polyamorous relationship. Among those who didn’t, one in seven expressed their respect for those who did (Moors, Gesselman, and Garcia 2021).
With people becoming more accepting of the concept of having multiple partners, is a monogamous relationship now a thing of the past?
Many would say it’s traditional and socially imposed, so it’s time to leave it behind. However, monogamy continues to bear benefits that polyamorous relationships don’t always have. Here are some of them:
1. Greater Intimacy
Intimacy makes a relationship satisfying and meaningful. Cultivating it requires getting to know a person through multiple conversations and shared experiences. But even then, their life and thoughts can be a mystery, so much so that a lifetime won’t be enough to discover everything about them.
You need plenty of time and the ability to direct all your focus on one person to truly get to know them. Because of this, greater intimacy is only possible with monogamy. While you can have plenty of intimacy in a polyamorous relationship, it’s often only in quantity, not quality.
Intimacy is like wine — it gets better the more time you spend getting to know each other.
2. More Peace
Maintaining communication and going on dates — your plate is already full with just one partner. Imagine multiplying that twice or several times.
You’ll have to deal with overlapping appointments, not to mention their emotional and mental consequences.
Even if you agree to a “no strings attached” rule, you can’t help getting affected by your various relationships because that’s just how we are wired as human beings. Our mental, physical, sexual, and emotional aspects are intertwined.
Polyamory inevitably creates problems that can quickly become too much to handle.
Meanwhile, a monogamous relationship limits such challenges. It helps you focus your time and energy on one person, thus preventing unnecessary conflicts. In the end, your life will be a hundred times more peaceful.
3. Trust and Security
Having someone you can completely trust and depend on for whatever challenges may come your way is one of the best feelings in the world.
You don’t have to live in doubt and insecurity, wondering where your significant other is or if their other partner is better than you.
If they’ve committed to you and only you, you’re sure you’re their top priority. Such security gives you profound stability, which makes life happier and more fulfilling.
Two is not always better than one
Committing to a monogamous relationship won’t be a walk in the park. It takes maturity, sincerity, and a lot of effort to stay faithful through life’s ups and downs.
However, these advantages prove that no matter how much hard work such a relationship demands, it will all be worth it if you’re with your one constant person.
References
Moors, Amy, Amanda Gesselman, and Justin Garcia. 2021. “Desire, Familiarity, and Engagement in Polyamory: Results From a National Sample of Single Adults in the United States.” Frontiers in psychology 12 (March). https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.619640.
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