SELF, DATING, & RELATIONSHIPS
New Relationship Anxiety Is Normal until It Isn’t
Overcome your anxious thoughts before they become destructive.
The start of a relationship is often the easiest part.
You’re blissfully in love. Your partner seems perfect, and storms are out of sight. Every day, you discover something new about each other and look forward to what’s ahead.
This can be exciting for some. However, do you feel the same way? Or, are the uncertainties making you ask questions such as, “Will this last?” “What if my partner changes their mind?” or “Did I make the right decision?”
Such uneasiness is called new relationship anxiety. It’s normal when your anxious thoughts are few and sporadic. However, if they frequently arise, you need to sort things out as soon as possible. Otherwise, they may disrupt and destroy your relationship.
Here are steps to help you overcome your worries and protect your budding connection.
1. Build your relationship
Anxieties often result from an overactive imagination that revolves around negative possibilities.
Instead of anticipating what might go wrong, focus on the present. Appreciate the good things about your partner, enjoy your time together, and consistently express your love.
Occupy yourself with what builds your relationship, not what will possibly tear it apart, to become closer to each other and keep unwarranted doubts at bay.
2. Remain grounded in reality
To overcome new relationship anxiety, practice distinguishing reality from fantasy and try to ground yourself on the former.
Be aware of the thoughts and assumptions that pass through your mind. Are they founded on actuality? Or are they figments of your imagination?
The more you see that your doubts and fears are unfounded, the more you realize there’s nothing to be anxious about.
3. Believe in your partner
Past heartbreaks can still affect your current relationship in one way or another, especially if you haven’t taken steps to heal from them.
While your experience and feelings are valid, realize that the person you’re with now isn’t the same one who has hurt you. Believe in your partner. Give them a chance to show their love.
4. Communicate openly
Share your anxious thoughts and feelings with your partner. The demand for vulnerability and trust might make communicating difficult at first.
However, talking about your concerns can help you see what your partner truly thinks about, easing your worries and deepening your bond for the long run.
5. Identify the root cause
Where do your anxieties come from? Is it because of what your partner said or didn’t say or because of a painful experience in the past?
If you’ve had a difficult childhood or unresolved traumatic experiences, your anxiety might be deep-seated. Ask for help from a psychologist to find healing for your emotional wounds and experience a better relationship.
Face Your Anxiety Effectively
New relationship anxiety is normal to a certain degree. After all, you’re still adjusting to your partner’s personality and behavior. Add to this an uncertain future, and you’re sure to feel uneasy.
However, it can be destructive to you, your partner, and your relationship if it happens frequently.
The steps I mentioned can help you remove your anxiety from the center of your mind and solidify your bond and commitment.
However, if your anxiety becomes too much to handle, seek professional help. Doing so can benefit your relationship and, above all, your mental health.
