LIFE ADVICE
How to Practice Self-Love for a Healthier Relationship
The love of your life will fulfill all your needs. Once you meet them, you’ll never have a sad day again.
Do you believe this? If you do, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
Once you find the right person to share life with, you’ll experience fulfillment you could never achieve alone. However, realize that your partner doesn’t solely hold your happiness.
Relying on someone else for satisfaction is unfair and unrealistic. Every person is as imperfect and struggling in life as you are.
On the other hand, research shows that “high self-esteem is beneficial in romantic relationships,” as it affects your partner’s happiness (Erol and Orth 2016, 274–283).
So, learn to value yourself to nurture your relationship. Here are some steps on how to practice self-love:
1. Set Boundaries
A relationship is the union of two individuals. Naturally, you adopt some of each other’s interests, hobbies, opinions, and even values. However, maintain your identity and self-respect. You shouldn’t overcompromise and lose yourself in the process.
Set healthy boundaries with your partner. Have regular “me” times for rest and self-reflection. Make your relationship a safe place for your feelings and opinions. While you should prioritize it, don’t let it disrupt your work, and vice versa. Know when it’s time to focus on one or the other.
2. Enjoy Without Your Partner
Keep nurturing the interests you’ve developed before meeting your partner. If you’ve been into kickboxing, painting, or baking, there’s no reason to stop doing them, even if your partner doesn’t share the same fascination.
Also, take time to see your friends and family now and then. Surround yourself with people who understand and support you. Your partner can’t address your every need. Enjoy yourself without feeling guilty.
3. Practice Self-Affirmation
One of the most common self-love habits people do is making daily affirmations. And for good reason. According to a 2020 study, positive affirmations result in increased levels of happiness, better resilience, and good health.
So, regularly remind yourself of your strengths. You don’t have to wait for your partner to tell you you’re valuable and one of a kind. Include that in your morning routine, or do it when you’re journaling.
Such positivity will be the source of the love you share with your partner and your strength during adversity.
4. Communicate Honestly
Here’s how to practice self-love in a relationship: be transparent with your partner. This form of self-respect fosters trust. Moreover, you owe it to yourself to voice out what’s bothering you as much as what’s making you happy.
Express your needs and concerns. Through honest communication, you protect your self-worth and help your partner love you better.
Self-Love Multiplies
A relationship should be a give-and-take and stand on mutual trust and love. Don’t solely rely on your partner to give you life’s satisfaction. They also have their own things to worry about. Also strive for your happiness and fulfillment.
That said, start by knowing how to practice self-love. As you learn to value yourself, the love you give and receive also multiplies.
References
Erol, R. Y., and U. Orth. 2016. “Self-esteem and the quality of romantic relationships.” European Psychologist 21 (4): 274–283. https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1027%2F1016-9040%2Fa000259.
Arquiza, Lynnelle. 2020. “The Effect of Positive Affirmations on Self-Esteem and Well-Being in College Students.” Senior Theses. Dominican University of California. https://doi.org/10.33015/dominican.edu/2020.PSY.ST.01
