ADVICE
Is Getting Back Together with an Ex a Good Idea or Not?
“We’re never, ever getting back together.”
Have you told yourself this line after calling it quits with your partner? You swear you won’t look back and are determined to move on to a new life.
However, while break-ups might mean a closed door, many cases show they don’t stay that way. Statistics reveal that among couples who break up, 60% end up reuniting. (Beckman 2024)
If you’ve reconnected with an old flame, perhaps you’re considering whether or not to give it another chance. Is that possible? Can you get back with an ex?
Yes. But a better question is, should you?
Sometimes, getting back together with an ex works out. Other times, it’s another mistake in the making.
Before making your move, reflect on your situation.
It’s Worth Another Chance
Try to see if these signs are present in you and your ex. If so, you can try to reunite. Perhaps it’ll be the best decision you’ll make.
You both recognize your problem. There’s always a reason why couples break up. Often, one issue causes a domino effect and takes down the whole relationship. Determine what that is. You can’t fix something if you’re not aware of the problem.
You’re willing to work things out. Are you both committed to patching things up? You’re remorseful for your shortcomings but also open to compromise and change for the sake of your partner and relationship.
You’ve both become better people. You’ve separated for months or even years before considering rekindling your relationship. If you’ve used your time apart to grow and learn from your mistakes, getting back together with an ex may be a good idea. This time, you’re better prepared for a relationship.
You still see potential in the relationship. In hindsight, the positive things outweigh the negative ones. You see that life is better with them. They’re the partner you need to become the best version of yourself.
Don’t Even Think About It
If these signs are present, you shouldn’t think of fanning the embers of the past. Your relationship has come to a dead end. You’ll do yourselves a favor by remaining separate.
No accountability. There’s no remorse or recognition for the conflict in your relationship. Neither of you wants to take responsibility for the consequences of your shortcomings; hence, you can’t even start fixing them.
You’re lonely or bored. Perhaps you feel nostalgic about the past and yearn for the comfort of familiarity. If your motivation for getting back together is to escape your loneliness or boredom, you shouldn’t continue your plan. You’re not looking for someone to love, but someone to use to address your needs.
You haven’t worked on yourself. Relationship conflicts are opportunities for self-discovery and improvement. Without internal work, you’ll remain the person you were before the breakup, resulting in the same mistakes in the relationship. With such a pattern, it won’t take a genius to predict the outcome the second time around.
Getting back together with an ex is possible, but it’s not for everyone.
Reflect on your decision and speak about it with your ex.
While rekindling your relationship is possible, it’s not for everyone. Sometimes, it’s better to bury the past and never unearth it again.
However, if the signs show that your story is far from over, try to give yourselves another chance.
Reference
Beckman, Jeff. 2024. “20+ Interesting Breakup Statistics 2024 (Must Know Facts).” The Tech Report. https://techreport.com/statistics/lifestyle/breakup-statistics/.
