RELATIONSHIPS
Are Women Still Looking for a Traditional Relationship?
A lot of people believe that gender roles are a thing of the past. In dating, for example, they say nobody wants a traditional relationship anymore. Men no longer have all the power, and women can do whatever they want.
But is that really true? Do women in particular think we should all say goodbye to old-fashioned views on love and romance?
Or are there others who can still see the appeal of traditional relationship dynamics?
Modern versus Traditional
To say that feminism is the main difference between a modern and a traditional relationship is a little reductive. Calling modern short lived and traditional long lasting, on the other hand, is also not quite right.
While it’s true that the setup of relationships before follows gender roles more strictly than the other options available today, modern relationships are still not just about men losing all power and women having complete freedom.
If anything, that kind of mindset simply flips gender roles. It doesn’t make them progressive or more reasonable. It doesn’t “make things better.”
The core difference between a traditional relationship and a modern one, it would seem, has more to do with flexibility than inversion. If traditional couples had no choice but to adhere to what society had dictated in terms of what men and women were supposed to be and do in a relationship, then their modern counterparts can pick and choose tasks and functions however they see fit.
If the husband wants to work and provide for his family, he can still do so, but so can his wife. The same goes for the women. Cooking and cleaning and raising children are things no longer exclusive to them as presented in a classic traditional relationship. They’re now merely options that can be shouldered by either partner.
“What if I want a traditional relationship?”
But if you still find yourself preferring a relationship that’s more traditional than modern, that’s also perfectly fine.
You know why? Because this time, you can want it. It’s a preference that’s available to you, not something that you have no choice but to accept and follow.
Plenty of women feel conflicted every time the idea of choosing a traditional relationship comes up. After all, isn’t feminism and the fight against strict gender roles for the benefit of women? Won’t choosing something that’s considered unfair and archaic only going to undermine the campaign for gender equality?
Not at all. Not when there’s a choice involved.
Women can still want a traditional relationship because modern relationships didn’t completely erase it. It was simply integrated into modern dating practices and allowed to take different shapes. While it’s no longer the default, it’s still an option, and as long as it’s a decision made by couples who know what they want and what’s best for their relationship, neither woman nor man gets the short end of the stick.
So if you’re the soft girlfriend to your tough and macho boyfriend, that’s perfectly acceptable. If you’re a woman and you have a disposition that’s more gentle compared to your partner’s — that is to say, you’re more in touch with your emotions than he is — there’s nothing wrong with that, either.
If you’re a wife and a mother and you’re more comfortable being a homemaker instead of a career professional, that’s a decision you’re free to make.
Being in a traditional relationship (or at least a relationship that embodies traditional gender roles) is just another choice, one that people need to honor and respect. It doesn’t make you a traitor to your gender.
It doesn’t make you less of a woman.
