INTERRACIAL DATING
Wanted: Asian Brides for Foreign Men
Is there really something inherently wrong with wanting to marry an Asian woman? Or can foreign men have Asian brides without the stigma attached to this type of union?
One of the reasons why interracial marriages are so controversial is that it opens up a lot of possibilities for people to be taken advantage of: men for their money and women for their bodies.
Well, that and plain old racism.
Granted, most of these controversies are founded on legitimate issues. After all, the foreign men concerned are often white and middle class while the Asian brides in question tend to come from developing countries. It’s a narrative that’s easy to visualize.
But does this mean we have the right to pass judgment on every interracial couple we see? Are Western bachelors really incapable of looking at women of color without the so-called “exotic” lens?
Or are the people taking issue with this concept usually contributing to the problem by promoting dangerous stereotypes?
It’s All About Nuance
The term “Asian brides” alone invites the kind of knee-jerk reaction that sends many ultratraditionalists into going up in arms. Connotation aside, it’s simply a phrase that describes something quite literal — women of Asian descent about to get married.
But because of the aforementioned controversies, it’s taken on an entirely new meaning that isn’t at all kind or even fair to everyone.
Like any issue that can be traced back to centuries of history and debate, the idea of foreign men choosing Asian brides needs to be viewed with more nuance and care. More than being unfair to the people involved and those in similar situations, sweeping generalizations can also end up being counterproductive to the very thing being fought for by those opposing the concept on principle.
How? It fails to consider a person’s agency as well as the nature of dating and relationships.
Because the public is encouraged to condemn every foreign man who brings home an Asian wife, no one is asking important questions, like where they met, how they fell in love, and what role their cultural differences play in their marriage.
But nobody really cares as long as we can claim progressive thinking and moral superiority, right?
Who Are You Fighting For?
There’s no disputing the fact that men seeking Asian brides as a way to objectify women is a problem. That is not and has never been an acceptable outlook on interracial relationships.
But wanting to end that practice is also not an excuse to stereotype every interracial couple you see. To assume that every Asian woman marrying a foreign man is in it for his money — or all men marrying outside their country are only doing so to fulfill a fetish or to take advantage of women of color — exhibits the kind of thinking that social equality movements are trying to fight against.
Remember, it’s one thing to be concerned about a systemic issue that victimizes marginalized people, and it’s entirely another to claim the moral high ground without seeing the whole picture.
Yes, sometimes Asian brides are women who marry white men for social mobility — a difficult feat, considering “mail-order brides” are widely frowned upon, for obvious reasons.
But sometimes, Asian brides are exactly what they say they are on the tin: women of Asian descent about to get married.
