DATING ADVICE
Second Date Tips: Ensure This Time Is Better Than the First
We tend to fixate on first dates — what to wear, what to say, and who should pay. However, second dates are, in many ways, more interesting and meaningful.
Why?
The second meeting is a sign that your date isn’t just in it for fun because they’re willing to spend more time and effort getting to know you.
Also, now that first-date jitters are out of the way, you’re more comfortable being yourself. Your interactions will be more authentic and enjoyable. It’s an opportunity to assess your compatibility more fairly.
However, second dates are elusive.
The Sydney Morning Herald surveyed 3,500 singles and found that only 20% recounted “always” ending up with a second date (Arndt 2016), leaving the majority going on endless first dates.
So, if you’ve found a worthy date, make the most of your chance. Read this list of second date tips to ensure your next meet-up is better than the first.
1. Try something different.
First dates are often low-key, like a casual dinner or coffee, since you wouldn’t want to waste too much effort with someone you won’t hit it off with.
However, a second date implies you can be more than acquaintances or friends; you can be a couple. As your chances increase, so should your investment.
Take this as an opportunity to do something different, like hiking, playing sports, attending a food festival, or visiting the local zoo. Such activities allow you to see other sides of your date and test your chemistry.
2. Give a nod to your first date.
Let your date know you’re genuinely interested in them by mentioning topics from your first date.
Bring them your latest read that they were curious about. Order the dessert they wanted to try. Or, ask them how their family outing went.
When your date sees that you care about what they share, they’ll become more open and comfortable with you.
3. Capture more details about your date.
First dates are replete with questions ranging from your favorite color to your heartbreaking experiences. These help you get to know each other but are often wide brush strokes that don’t allow you to capture the details.
Worry not; this is what second dates are for. Ask them about the points you were curious about but didn’t have time to delve deeper into, like their experience working overseas or why they didn’t continue their childhood hobby of collecting stamps.
Compared to other second date tips, this one might be bold but can significantly deepen your connection.
4. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.
You may not have had the opportunity to expound on your stories on your first date. Perhaps you were reluctant to share more personal details or were waiting for the right timing.
Now is your chance to let your date know more about you. Practice vulnerability when answering their questions. Also, if you think they should know certain things about you, feel free to share them when appropriate, even without waiting for them to ask.
Keep the Momentum Going
Your second date is about cultivating the chemistry and connection between you that have started to blossom. There’s less pressure and more spontaneity, making it, in some ways, a more pleasant experience than the first.
But before you see your date again, brush up on these second date tips to keep your momentum going. You never know; your third date might not be too far away.
References:
Arndt, Bettina. 2016. “What gives a first online date every chance of turning into a second?” The Sydney Morning Herald. https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/what-gives-a-first-online-date-every-chance-of-turning-into-a-second-20161116-gsqg12.html.
