LIFE ADVICE
Are You Ready for Marriage? | Signs before Saying ‘’I Do.’’
Your friends are tying the knot left and right. Your social media feed is inundated with photos of babies, honeymoons, and family vacations. And occasionally, people will offer their unsolicited advice:
‘’Your time will come. Soon, you’ll meet the perfect person and you’ll marry.”
But even if you are in a relationship with a great woman, you might find yourself facing yet another conundrum — self-doubt. And you constantly ask yourself ‘’Seriously, am I ready for marriage? Am I ready to be a husband and possibly, a father?’’
Because when you do get married, what happens next? What happens when the honeymoon phase ends? What if you get stuck with the wrong person? What if, ultimately, the marriage fails?
If you have these apprehensions, you’re not alone. You’re doing the right thing if you’re not taking things in haste. A lifetime commitment is no joke.
But, what if you found the right one? The perfect person you want to spend the rest of your life with? When will you pop the question?
To make things easier for you, here’s a list of pointers to consider before you start hearing wedding bells.
What Are the Signs That You’re Ready for Marriage?
You Have Self-Understanding.
First of all, you have to know yourself. Yes, it sounds cliché. But most people with commitment issues underestimate the value of self-understanding.
How does understanding yourself become relevant to your relationship?
First, to know yourself means you have to explore the things that can make you happy. If you’re not able to identify those things, you won’t know which actions to take or where to focus them.
Use the following questions as a starter:
Do you see yourself growing old with someone? Does imagining this make the best definition of a meaningful life?
Your answers will tell you whether you’re ready for marriage or not.
Here’s another question,
Are you okay with the thought of being single?
If yes, then you likely have the emotional stability that’s necessary for marriage.
Some people are in a relationship only because of the fear of being alone. If you’re one of them, then you’re going to need to step back and explore life a little bit more. By yourself.
Until then, you won’t know what you truly want.
You Have Financial Stability.
Of course, financial stability matters when you think about settling down. You need to think of getting a new apartment, new furniture or appliances, insurance, and many more. There are among other things to consider besides the wedding cost.
Both you and your partner are trying to establish a life together, so
each or at least one of you should have that financial stability.
Getting ready for marriage doesn’t end with wedding preparations. It includes thinking of the life ahead of you. How many children do you plan to have? How are you going to put up savings for their education? Are you relocating for a job? Where are you going to live? Are you renting or getting a house loan?
Look at how significant the financial aspect is to married life. You don’t have to be a six-digit earner to manage these things. But, you should at least have a stable and sustainable job.
You Have the Family’s Approval.
One of the signs a man is ready for marriage is when he introduces his partner to his parents. Introducing your partner to your family or vice versa is a huge step.
But don’t stop at introducing your partner. Try to ingratiate her with the family the best you can.
Some people are fortunate to get their parent’s approval instantly. Those who are in relationships that don’t conform to the family’s standards find this to be a challenge.
Examples of those relationships are long-distance, interracial, or even big age-gap relationships.
What do you do when your love is against all odds?
Will you wait for the day to come when you get either of your parents’ approval?
As adults, both you and your partner should decide for yourselves. Once you have this confidence, you’re emotionally and mentally prepared for marriage.
You’re Loyal and Faithful.
Infidelity is, unfortunately, a real condition of human society. But if you believe in the institution of marriage, remind yourself that loyalty and faithfulness are still the building blocks of trust. When you are ready for marriage, you vow faithfulness and loyalty to your future wife.
By then, there’s no more flirting around girls or giving yourself excuses for your mistakes. Remember, you are starting a family of your own, and will soon raise kids who will see you as their model.
Every marriage has its obstacles. You will make mistakes.
But are you ready to face these difficult situations and challenges in your marriage? Is your partner willing to stick around with you through good times and bad times?
What are you willing to sacrifice to save the marriage?
These are big questions. If you’re able to set realistic expectations, you’re mature enough for marriage.
You’re Transparent.
You’re not ready for marriage when you keep secrets from your partner. Even when you say those secrets are too personal, it’s only fair for your partner to know.
A few examples are health conditions, children from previous relationships, and so on.
Also, being transparent with your partner will help you test if she’s the right person. Is she willing to meet halfway? If you had a chronic illness or disability, would she think of it as a burden?
If one of you can’t afford to compromise, transparency will save both parties time and energy.
You Can Openly Communicate.
At this point, have you been practicing open communication? Some couples struggle to have open communication, even if they’ve been together long-term. When one says something, the other immediately shuts you down. Unfortunately, it becomes a bad habit. Worse, it can turn into a form of gaslighting.
With open communication, relationships lead to marriage.
Although, there have been cases when a married couple loses bond or connection. For example, the husband spends too much time at work. Or, the wife spends too much time with the children. This is usual for married couples who have been together for a considerable amount of time.
Make a constant effort to avoid these things from happening in your relationship. Once you accept this reality, you will see yourself as fit for married life.
You’ve Tried Cohabitating.
Another sign that you’re ready for marriage is cohabitation. Are you ready to live with your partner? If you’ve already tried, what was it like for you?
How do you describe it? What were the reasons that you decided to live in one space?
Was it because of financial reasons alone or convenience? If yes, then you would have to check the situation before asking your partner for marriage.
Let’s say you agreed to live together for practical purposes initially. How about now? Do you feel a much deeper reason? Do you see yourself living with the same person in your lifetime?
Cohabitation is an initiation for marriage. In the beginning, you will feel the thrill and excitement of being able to live under one roof with your partner. As time passes, you find yourselves arguing about household or financial responsibilities. This is usual for young inexperienced couples, but it can happen to anyone.
This experience will give you a lot of learning opportunities. Both of you will discover ways to solve day-to-day problems. It will also strengthen your relationship in many aspects.
You Respect Differences.
Naturally, you would want to share your life with someone who has the same core values as you. But, what if you fell in love with a person who has a different religion?
Should you marry her? It depends. Some relationships work out even with differences in religion and belief.
Still, religion is a major issue.
Are you willing to accept differences? Even if it’s something minor, respecting his partner’s values is one of the signs that a man is ready for marriage.
As long as both parties have the same direction in life, they’re bound to live a life in each other’s company.
You Set Personal Boundaries.
One way to know if you’re ready for marriage is to imagine your life after the wedding. Will you be able to have time for yourself? Will you be able to continue doing the things you love to do?
Well, you should. Marriage should not limit you from having personal space.
Being able to keep one’s individuality is another sign that you’re ready for marriage. Communicate to your partner about how you can set personal boundaries for each other. In this stage, you must have talked about how your hobbies, interests, and goals make you up as an individual. Tell your partner how these things matter to you and ask if she sees any problem with it.
Marriage comes with heavy responsibilities. But, losing oneself along the way has proved to break long-term relationships.
Getting Ready for Marriage Is a Dream Come True.
Most people dream about getting married. They long for that magical moment of walking down the aisle with the person they love.
Having someone to stick with you through thick and thin is a turning point. Your partner will not just be a lover but a family who can provide you with a lifetime of love and support.
But, marriage can also be scary. It’s critical to assess yourself before getting into it.
For men who have been single all their life, the thought of marriage can be overwhelming — both in a good or bad way.
If you’re a divorced man, it may feel like going back to square one.
Yet, shouldn’t you give your present partner a chance? Would you not allow yourself to have a happy future with your partner?
You should be wise enough to see the right woman for you by this time.
But then again, it’s all for you to decide. As a wise man once said, ‘’No one is ever ready for anything. It’s either you do it. Or you don’t.’’
