RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
To Propose or Not to Propose?
Picking the right time and place to propose has got to be one of the most nerve-wracking decisions for people in long-term relationships.
And traditionally, it’s an honor that falls on men’s shoulders.
But what some guys tend to forget is that planning an engagement involves more than just saying four magical words.
A man who’s thinking about making an honest woman out of his partner should, first and foremost, be very sure that to propose is really what he’s supposed to do.
DON’T PROPOSE: If you think an engagement will fix your problems
Sadly, there are couples who believe that making life-changing decisions is a good way to deal with relationship issues.
Instead of confronting what’s wrong or facing a problem head-on, they distract themselves by making important commitments without properly considering all factors.
This is a bad idea in more ways than one.
If you’re planning to propose or take your relationship to the next level to have some kind of solution to your problems, you’ll only make things complicated.
Worse, you can end up involving more people and getting more hurt when reality eventually catches up with you.
PROPOSE: If your relationship has a good track record
The reason why proposing in hopes of fixing your problems is not going to work is because all your habits and issues will still be there even after you get engaged.
If you’re really going to propose, it should be on account of your relationship getting stronger and more established so that bigger commitments are simply the most logical step, not a diversion or a last-ditch effort.
You should only consider getting married if you’ve proven to yourselves that you and your partner can truly build a life together.
DON’T PROPOSE: If your only reason is the pressure from friends and family
Another common reason why people start to think about proposals is the stress that comes from friends and relatives pushing them to settle down.
Getting along with the family of your partner is great if you’re planning to get married, but it shouldn’t be your only motivation to propose.
Having supportive relatives won’t automatically make a couple prepared to take on married life. You certainly shouldn’t use them to make decisions that they won’t be accountable for.
The choice to take on a lifelong commitment is between you and your partner, since the consequences will ultimately be yours to face.
PROPOSE: If you and your girlfriend are both ready
When deciding whether or not to propose, the first and last consideration should be how ready you and your partner are to tie the knot.
Because beyond the anticipation of how she is going to answer when you ask her “Will you marry me?”, there’s an entire life and future that you will have to share afterward.
Yes, most women want a surprise proposal, but the idea of getting married should not be foreign to her. It has to be something that you’ve discussed in the past, something you two have talked about and decided is a goal you both have.
Before you propose, you need to make sure you’re both ready — to plan a wedding, to get married, and to spend the rest of your life together.
