Is It Necessary for Men to Pursue Women?
To answer my own question, NO.
It’s a universal truth. Unless you want to, no one is obliged to pursue someone, even in dating and relationships.
Or so I thought.
Being in the relationship field made me realize a lot of things, and that includes how forgetful society is acting in saying that men don’t need to pursue women when, in reality, they have been doing so since time immemorial.
In fact, they’re shamed if they let women make the first move.
I’ve heard first-hand experiences from men who have struggled and are struggling with unfair gender roles.
Miguel is one of them.
His whole life, Miguel had been told that in order to be a man, he must know how to initiate a conversation with a woman. Otherwise, he will be ridiculed and called “gay”.
He grew up believing that men should always be the hunters, and women are the prize. So obviously, he should always make the first move with women.
He didn’t think it was a big deal at first, until he was chastised by his father for refusing to date the woman his father wanted for him.
According to his dad, Miguel was such a coward for not facing a woman. He was also told that he’ll never find a girlfriend if he keeps chickening out.
And Miguel thought his father was right. Miguel believed he was indeed a coward. In his mind, he would rather avoid meeting women than risk possible rejection.
That’s right. He didn’t want to be rejected. He knows for a fact that, even now, he still isn’t ready for what his father says a man should be.
He’d rather be called all sorts of names than put himself in a situation that he knows would harm both parties — him and women.
Stop telling people what they should or should not do.
This issue doesn’t only hurt men, but it affects women too. Women are also told to NOT make the first move, or else they’ll be called “sluts” and other derogatory names. They could even be taken advantage of.
And seriously, this has to stop. How hard is it to let someone do their thing at their own pace?
If a man refuses to pursue a woman, let him. If a woman asks a man on a date, let her.
Let’s not put pressure on people only because we want them to adhere to what we believe is right and normal.
It doesn’t help them. If anything, it just makes everything worse.
