RELATIONSHIPS
Are You More Than a Friend But Less Than a Lover?
You go out, but it’s not a date. You talk for hours, but you’re not a thing.
Are they more than a friend? Or is it just you who’s feeling love in the air?
Welcome to the complicated world of dating! Or non-dating, that is.
Whether you’ve been friends for a while or have been navigating the talking stage, there comes a point when you feel like you’re in a relationship, except that you’re not.
You can call it a situationship, a special friendship, or just enjoying each other’s company, but one thing’s for sure: you can’t let it go on forever.
It might be an exciting stage, but prolonging the confusion will only make things heartbreaking.
But how do you deal with a non-existent relationship in the first place?
Here are some tips for navigating this gray area and getting yourself out of the mess.
1. Admit You’re in Love
Accept that you’ve fallen in love, even without knowing if the other person will reciprocate your feelings. This can be scary, but being in denial will only get you stuck, and that’s worse.
There’s nothing wrong with being in love. It’s the best feeling in the world! And once you’ve admitted that, you’re more open to the beautiful possibilities this could mean. And, you can be more courageous if it goes the other way around.
2. Make a Decision
Having feelings is not the end of the story; you need to choose what to do with them.
Do you see yourself in a relationship with this person? Are you ready to transition from being more than a friend to officially being a lover?
Or do you think that the relationship won’t work out? Do they have more negative than positive qualities?
You are the only one who knows how much this person means to you and if they’re worth risking your heart for. If you think it’s worth it, go for it! If not, let them go.
Reflect on this, but don’t straddle the question for months. The point is to make a concrete decision to get past the ambiguity.
3. Have a Conversation
Now that you’ve clarified your side, it’s time to know theirs. Talk with them and let them know how you feel.
Confessing might be the most terrifying part because you’re putting yourself in a vulnerable position. But when you’re over this, the worst has passed.
Honesty will give light to your confusion and eventually set you free.
4. Set Boundaries
After talking with each other, agree on how to move forward. That means doing either of the two: committing to a serious relationship or ending whatever you’ve had in the past.
Regardless, you have to be firm in your decision by setting boundaries.
If you make yourselves official, you can no longer see other people. On the other hand, if you’re saying no to a relationship, that also means a “no” to late-night phone calls and flirtatious touches.
That kind of behavior is reserved for lovers, not for non-committed people.
Own Your Feelings and Commit
The in-between stage in a relationship can be equally thrilling, awkward, and scary. But when it lasts too long, it’s just plain frustrating.
Own up to your feelings and take action. If you want to treat each other as more than a friend, commit to a relationship. If not, forget about it and stop wasting each other’s time.
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