Loving Unconditionally: How to Love Someone for Who They Are

What if you fall in love with a person and then learn of all their flaws?

What would you do afterward? Would you leave them or love them regardless?

Would you embrace their flaws and make them see themselves better?

The moment that we first lay our eyes on the person that we love, we think that they are the most perfect human being there is. Infatuation does that to us.

But as you get to know them better, you will discover their imperfections and even their weaknesses.

No matter how much you love the person, they will have flaws that will annoy you and sometimes make you think about whether you can live with them or not.

You may try to ask them to change or grow in a certain area of their lives so they would be better holistically, but that is not always the case. Because in reality, no one is perfect, and a perfect partner and relationship do not exist.

Although they may try to change, they will always have rough edges that will take a lifetime to smoothen up. Some flaws are deeply embedded into their characters, and ours.

So, if this is the case, what should you do?

Recognize their strengths, not just their flaws.

It’s easy for us to see someone else’s imperfections, and it’s easier for us to notice their mistakes when we are close to them. You shouldn’t focus on these things alone, otherwise, it will just stress you out and cause you unnecessary conflicts.

Try shifting your perspective. Look at their positive characteristics instead. Observe and focus on their strengths.

When you see both their strengths and weaknesses, you will understand them better, and you will know who they truly are. Moreover, these two attributes are connected. Some of their imperfections exist because of some of their positive traits.

For instance, when your husband doesn’t give you too much freedom to go shopping and going late at night by yourself may also be an indication of how protective he is of you. If your wife often nags at you it could mean that she is a caring person and she is just concerned about you.

You just have to keep your eyes open for these things. Their character flaws might be one of the things that makes your relationship interesting and makes your story beautiful.

Accept and Appreciate their flaws.

Sometimes, we are not aware of our flaws until someone points them out. When we are made aware of them, more often than not, we have trouble accepting our flaws, and this is a struggle. It may even become a source of insecurity and lack of confidence.

Sometimes, people just need a little encouragement to accept their imperfections. If your partner is going through the same struggle, you can make a huge impact by helping them embrace their flaws. It’s by simply appreciating and accepting everything about them.

This empowers them and it diminishes all their recurring negative thoughts about their shortcomings. This allows them to make use of their flaws to develop new traits and to allow their good traits to grow.

Don’t abandon them, and don’t let them go.

It’s unavoidable that you will get tired of your relationship, especially when you are trying to deal with your partner’s past mistakes and bad habits. But, if you truly love your partner, you will never leave them and you will stay by their side no matter what.

The person’s imperfections are what makes them who they are. As said, strengths and weaknesses go hand in hand, these two can’t be seen separately. If you love their good traits, you shouldn’t abandon them for their bad traits.

Express to them how you see their weaknesses.

If you have learned to appreciate their shortcomings, you should let them know about them. Talk to them about how much you love them regardless of their flaws. There is no doubt that this will work like magic in your relationship.

Being accepted allows you to see yourself in a better light. Having the things that you are ashamed of acknowledged by someone else is one of the most liberating feelings when in a relationship.

Don’t over-rationalize things and let your heart speak.

Trying to figure out how to erase the flaws of your partner will just give you a headache. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you stop using your brain. Instead of trying to rationalize your partner’s flaws, (which is something you will never figure out) try letting your heart dictate what to do.

Over-rationalizing about your partner’s shortcomings will only lead you to focus on the negative things.

“I love this part about him, but I hate….” does this sound familiar?

This is what it sounds like when your brain and heart are contradicting each other. This is only giving you stress. So, as long as your relationship is not an abusive one, just let love rule in your relationship. This way, you will always choose to love your partner.

Love must be above all in your relationship.

As the saying goes, “Love conquers all.”

Love should triumph over anything in your relationship. No argument or mistake should diminish the love that you both share. Not even your partner’s weakness or the flaws of your relationships.

Great relationships can last a lifetime. But a time will come when your love will be tested. Couples will eventually get tired of all the trials that couples will face. Some of it is the result of differences and others are due to the couple’s flaws. Regardless of this, love must not be forgotten. It has to be the cornerstone of the relationship.

So that whatever challenges they may face, the couple will stay in each other’s arms, and love each other unconditionally.

No matter how flawed people are, if you truly love them, you will embrace all their imperfections.

Perhaps those imperfections may not be imperfections, just a part among parts whose sum is infinitely less great than the whole.