RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
How to Support Your Partner in Difficult Times
A relationship isn’t all bliss; challenges are inevitable. I don’t mean just relationship-related conflicts. Sometimes, you encounter personal conflicts caused by troubles at work, family, or life changes. Other times, it’s your partner dealing with a problem they alone could face.
When you see your partner suffering, you might want to take it all away or bear it yourself. However, that’s impossible and might not even be helpful. They must face their problems to grow. You don’t want to be the one hindering them.
But how can you support your partner?
It’s not so much about fixing their problems for them. Sometimes, all you need is to be present.
Here’s how to support your partner in difficult times.
1. Reach out.
Be attentive to their change in mood, isolation, or impatience. These are signs your partner is going through a rough patch.
If they don’t initiate a conversation about it, be the one to reach out. Ask them questions like, “Did something happen today? I noticed you seemed down.”
Observe how they react. They might not be ready to talk about it. If so, be patient and don’t force them to. Otherwise, if they do open up, prepare to listen.
2. Listen with empathy.
When your partner shares their problem, give your full attention. Avoid working on your computer or scrolling through your phone. Also, set aside your judgments and presumptions. Instead, try to understand their perspective. Let them speak, and wait until they finish before saying anything.
3. Validate their feelings.
Acknowledge your partner’s feelings. Let them know that you understand their concerns and their importance. Here’s what to say when your partner is going through a hard time: “I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a tough time. Thank you for opening up to me.”
Validation is one of the ways you can support your partner in difficult times. This will make them feel accepted and valued, nurturing trust in the relationship.
4. Ask what they need.
It’s tempting to take matters into your own hands. However, don’t give in. Instead, ask your partner about their needs and suggestions to help them cope and overcome their struggles.
Perhaps they’re not looking for answers and need time to process their emotions. If so, letting them point out their needs shows respect for their autonomy and support.
5. Help out in little ways.
You can’t take away the heavy burden they’re carrying. However, you can still lighten their load by helping in other aspects of life. That might mean preparing them a meal, doing a chore, sending sweet messages, or surprising them with a care package.
These might be simple gestures, but when done with sincerity, they can make a lot of difference in their day.
The Strength of Support
Having a supportive partner can literally change your life. According to psychology educator Kendra Cherry, having someone to lean on can help you better cope with stress. Consequently, you avoid serious physical and mental health consequences.
That said, remember these steps on how to support your partner in difficult times to give them strength. However, if their problem becomes too much to handle, even for you, don’t hesitate to seek professional help.
Reference
Cherry, Kendra. 2023. “How Social Support Contributes to Mental Health.” Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/social-support-for-psychological-health-4119970.
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