ONLINE DATING TIPS

How to Start a Conversation Online | 5 Simple Hacks and Tips

Miss Matchmaker AFA - Thailand
7 min readJun 24, 2024
A man searching for good conversation starters for online dating.
Learn how to start a conversation online with these simple hacks and tips! | Photo by Laker on Pexels

Conversing with a woman face-to-face is both a science and an art form. But whether you’re a real-life casanova or just the total opposite, conversing online is a whole different ball game.

While the anonymity of an online interaction helps those who lack confidence, there are disadvantages to it as well.

First, with the lack of important non-verbal cues, how will you know if the conversation is going well? What does her body language say? How about her facial expression? Do they show any hint of interest?

Likely, there’s no way to tell. As long as she responds, you have to assume she’s interested.

What if you don’t? What if it’s crickets?

If you’re new to online dating, you have to know how to start a conversation online with a girl.

And while you might feel a little skeptical about online dating, it is the future and you’ll have to dip your toes in at some point.

To quote Ellon Musk, ‘’We are all already cyborgs.’’ Each of us has our own machine extensions.

There’s a method to connecting with people online. And it all starts with the conversation.

How to Start a Conversation Online?

There are many ways to build connections online. You can try joining online forums, communities, and other forms of social media. There, you can connect with someone who piques your interest.

Patience is vital because building connections online takes time. You don’t want to compromise quality over quantity. You want to attract a girl you’re truly interested in and not just any girl.

Try using the following tips:

1. Start with a compliment.

An Iphone with an attractive photo gallery.
Complimenting her photos is one of the many ways to start an online conversation. | Photo by Kerde Severin on Pexels

A sincere compliment is enough to make someone’s day. But, you don’t want to sound like a creep sending a random message like:

‘’Hi, beautiful.’’

That will drive women away. Instead, make it sound civil and proper. You can go for something like this instead:

‘’Hey, I came across your post/photo/ tweet/ about your recent trip to Bali. Great shots, by the way! I could use those helpful travel tips you mentioned in my future travel. Thanks for that! Hope we get connected soon.’’

This approach isn’t just friendly, it shows that you are decent and respect her space. You can even use this approach on business social media platforms where you can grow your business network.

Remember the formula — a simple ‘’hi’’ with a short compliment about her post/interests/skill. Top it off with a subtle request to connect.

2. Make an inquiry.

Try to make it sound like you’re being transactional. Make an inquiry related to her profession(assuming it’s posted on her profile)or about the photos she frequently uploads.

First, check out her profile. What does she do? What’s something she regularly posts/tweets about?

If, for example, she posts about eating healthy or making diet plans, you can mention them when reaching out.

‘’Hi! I ran into your post/photos, and I thought they were amazing. Do you happen to be a nutritionist? Sorry, I know this is random. But, I was hoping to find someone to help me draw up a healthy meal plan. Hope we can talk more!’’

While you might think you’re being too transactional, making an inquiry is a good conversation starter. It works like magic, especially when your goal is to get her attention.

3. Use social media crowdsourcing.

A close-up photo of smartphone icons.
Social media crowdsourcing can be a good conversation starter for online dating. | Photo by Pixabay on Pexels

Have you ever heard of social media crowdsourcing? Let’s say, you wanted to know the best restaurant in town. It’s either you search online or ask a friend. This is where social media crowdsourcing comes in. You post a question or conduct a poll on your social media, forums, and communities you’re in.

People won’t hesitate to offer a little help and share their ideas.

So instead of you reaching out, you get to receive helpful messages and opinions.

What do you do then when you receive answers/DMs(Direct Messages) from a girl?

Start by thanking her. Then, you can give a little affirmation to her answer like saying, ‘’That’s a great suggestion!’’

To keep the conversation going, ask follow-up questions. Make sure you use open-ended questions that start with why, how, if you were, and so on.

Don’t let this chance slip out of your hands. Make it engaging or crack a joke when you see a chance.

The moment you start to feel a connection, it’s time you end the conversation. Why?

You don’t want to take up so much of her time. You’ve already accomplished the first goal — striking a conversation and getting noticed.

Make sure you thank her for her time.

Then, you can message her again the following week or days.

‘’Hey, I found the book you recommended!’’

‘’The restaurant has the best clam chowder I’ve ever tasted! Thanks for the recommendation!’’

This time, give her your feedback.

4. Answer questions.

A great way to learn how to start a conversation online is by observing how people give and take opinions in forums.

You’ll see many online forums where people discuss just anything under the sun. Like how social media crowdsourcing works, it’s either you ask or answer questions.

Answer a question that relates to your interest, hobby, or area of expertise. For example, if you’re an expert in plumbing, then you can answer questions like, ‘’How do you fix a clogged sink?’’

Believe it or not. It might sound basic to you, but a lot of people need help with those kinds of stuff. What could be a better way to start a conversation than by helping out, right?

5. Establish your online profile.

Your online dating profile is an important element here. Put effort into your profile picture and take time to write a catchy bio. Now, you might think a lot of people are doing it already. But, they still struggle to find someone online.

Well, to be honest, it’s really not that easy. Putting yourself in the online dating scene is like a game and gamble. You’ll never know your luck.

So, the best thing you can do is stay active and continue learning the ropes. Treat your profile as a conversation starter. For example, write a short greeting in your bio or ask a catchy hypothetical question at the beginning. You can go for something creative or casual.

Don’t underestimate your online dating profile. Yes, it’s overrated. But, it’s a place where you can have good and meaningful conversations with like-minded people.

What Are Good Conversation Starters for Online Dating?

A man having an online video call with a girl.
What are good conversation starters for online dating? Here are some examples you can use! | Photo by Monstera Production on Pexels

Assuming you’ve already started building a connection with a girl online, the ball’s in the court.

You need to get the specifics and details now. The mentioned examples are only a few things you can say when initiating a conversation. Here are some more good conversation starters for online dating:

  • Tell me about your day. How was your day? How are you?
  • What do you do? What do you love/hate about your job?
  • Where are you from? What’s the weather/food/traffic like? Do you like it? Why or why not?
  • Tell me about your hobbies. Why do you like it? Would you want to make a living from your hobby? How did you start painting(for example)? Who’s your favorite painter? Why? If you were to meet(name of the favorite painter), what’s a question you’d ask him?
  • Tell me about your friends. Where do you guys hang out? What do you do for fun? How did you meet? What do you like about them?
  • Where did you go to school? What did you major in? Why? How hard was it to study Finance/Literature/Nursing? Did you enjoy it? What was your most unforgettable moment as a University student?
  • What’s a skill you would want to learn? Why?
  • Tell me about your favorite movie/food/song/song artist.
  • If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go? What’s the most beautiful place you’ve been to so far?
  • Tell me about your pet. How did you come up with the name?
  • Do you read? What’s the last book you read? If you could write your own book, what’s going to be the title? If not, what do you hate about reading?

Good conversation skills are essential in dating. So, you have to practice how to keep the conversation engaging. You can only use these conversation starters as your guide. Along the way, you’re going to have to learn how to be natural at it.

Aside from using good conversation starters for online dating, try ‘’get-to-know-you’’ games for fun. A few examples are Would You Rather, Two Truths and a Lie, and Never Have I Ever.

Build Trust and Keep It Going.

While starting a conversation is important, it isn’t everything. If you can’t sustain a connection, then it will most likely fail eventually. Just because you know how to start a conversation online doesn’t mean you know how to follow through. And sometimes, the only way to learn that is by experience.

So, make sure to earn her trust from the get-go. Be sincere and stay true to your words. Most importantly, don’t fake a personality.

Another important thing is consistency. It shows that you are someone serious and reliable.

With honesty and sincerity, any conversation can form a genuine and meaningful connection. This is a huge stepping stone for a long-lasting and happy relationship.

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