How to Have a Long-Distance Relationship

You’re interested but unsure.

If your only experience with dating was with your classmates in school or co-workers that were nearby, then that’s understandable. We are always more cautious towards new experiences than open to them unless we’re open to risk and adventure.

Maybe you’ve had a long-distance relationship with a lover before. One of you had to move away and became too busy to maintain the relationship and the only thing that resulted from it was a painful and disappointing breakup over the phone.

But are there successful long-distance relationships that ended with the both of them eventually having that close relationship that every person always wanted?

Here are some things you need to keep in mind to have a successful long-distance relationship:

1. Do the work and stay consistent with your communications.

Long-distance relationships have been around since writing. The only difference is that today we can communicate with each other in a matter of seconds. What made all long-distance relationships work was the fact that the communicators did the work.

When it was time to write that letter, cassette recording, or text through a messenger app, it was written and done. When they received it, it wasn’t shelved aside indefinitely. There was an intent to write and reply immediately, within a day or month.

Consistency is always the key. When it was time, you did not let anything but emergencies prevent you from communicating with each other.

In today’s long-distance relationships, if you’ve agreed to talk from 8 pm to 9 pm every Saturday, you do not let work messages distract you. If you send flowers 1st of the month, you get it done.

2. Make every effort to meet physically.

Work isn’t an excuse not to meet. If you want your long-distance relationship to survive, you must be willing to put your work in second place. That doesn’t mean you have to constantly find ways to stay at 4 or 5-star hotels or reserve reservations at fancy restaurants when you meet.

The idea is to just be there. A simple warm hug or holding her hand is at no cost. Walking through the park or sitting and watching the sun set or rise requires no reservation. If you can’t afford it financially, don’t buy the plane ticket. Perhaps the both of you can meet halfway by taking a bus or train.

Be creative and make the effort to meet. It might not be perfect, but it’s better than not trying.

3. Make room for surprises.

Let’s say your beloved loves polar bears. On your way to a business event at a hotel, you pass by the gift store and see a polar bear plushie that you think she would love. You’re not in a hurry, so you enter and purchase it because you thought of her. You put it in a box after the meeting with simple wrapping and send it to her.

That’s all it takes. Little surprises like gifts or flowers are always a fond welcome. It’s almost cliche but it’s good to recall that it isn’t the cost of the gift that counts, it’s the thought. Make sure that when you get her a gift ensure that it is significant to her. Be mindful of events or traits that only both of you can appreciate.

The most important thing is consistency and effort.

A long-distance relationship will require more effort than a physical one. When you are using the internet, it’s easy to think that it can be managed because everything is quicker online. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Surviving a long-distance relationship long enough that it can revert to a proximate one requires consistency and effort. Consistency here is in the sense that you communicate regularly and commit to it. The effort here is in the sense that you do whatever it takes to lessen the distance even if it is meeting for one day or afternoon.

Apart from these two, a few surprises should be arranged when you have sudden openings in your plans. These should be taken advantage of.

Take this idea with you and other advice and consider a long-distance relationship today.