PSYCHOLOGY
How to Break Up: Ending a Relationship the Right Way
“There’s nothing more terrible than investing in a relationship only to break up.”
Sorry to break it to you, but actually, there is. And that’s not breaking up the right way.
Ending a relationship is never an easy feat. Deciding to leave takes a lot of introspection, maturity, and courage. But no matter how painful it might be, sometimes, it’s the best option. It’s a necessary step towards a better life and a better love for both of you.
Nevertheless, breaking the news is never fun. You might be afraid to hurt your partner or to regret your decision.
But when you know how to break up with clarity and grace, you’ll leave without a bitter taste in your mouth but with gratitude and strength to eventually move on.
Here are some tips to do exactly that:
1. Don’t blindside your partner.
Don’t drop a bomb on your partner, especially if you’re in a long-term relationship. Give yourself enough time to weigh your decision.
Also, let your partner know about your doubts. Get their perspective and fix things if possible.
If your efforts are in vain, breaking up would easily make sense to both of you. In turn, you’re more prepared for the blow.
2. Stick to the reason.
Breaking up raises plenty of messy emotions, from anger and sadness to jealousy and regret. When you let these cloud you, you might lose track of why you’re initiating a break up in the first place.
Learn how to break up with a mind-over-matter attitude. Don’t let your feelings blur your words. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care about your partner. However, give an objective and clear explanation to help them understand the situation better.
3. Be honest.
It’s tempting to water down your reason for breaking up to feel less guilty about it. However, doing so isn’t fair to your partner.
Don’t say you’re not ready for a relationship when the truth is that you don’t feel attracted to them anymore. The unfiltered truth hurts for a while, but white lies hurt more in the long run.
So, be honest and direct. You don’t need to delve into all the details. But give them the real thing. You owe them as much.
4. Say it in person.
In our digital age, online messaging is a common way of communicating. But it’s not a respectful way to end a relationship. A quick break-up message doesn’t justify the weight of your decision or the significance of the relationship in your life.
Have some class and courage by saying it in person. And above all, don’t even give ghosting a thought.
5. Go no contact.
Once you’ve made your break up official, agree to cut off all contact with each other. Give yourselves time and space to mourn the loss of your relationship and heal from the heartache.
It doesn’t have to be long-term. Perhaps you can get in touch again in the future, especially if you were friends before becoming lovers. But for now, focus on moving on. And doing so requires you to have absolutely no contact with your ex.
Make a Clean Cut
Walking away when a relationship isn’t working out doesn’t have to be more painful than it already is.
When you know how to break up respectfully and directly, you can leave the past to rest and move on more effectively.
