ADVICE
Throw a Hardball! Put an End to Dating Mind Games
Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy. And so starts the age-old love story.
However, in our modern times, the simple plot can end up in ghosting, situationships, and all other labels that describe non-dating.
This is just a glimpse of how difficult the initial romance phase can be. You’re getting to know each other and trying to feel the chemistry while contemplating your next step.
Do they like me, too? Should I make a move? What if it’s not what I think it is?
The uncertainties, emotions, hopes, and fears converge into a roller coaster ride that can prevent your relationship from officially taking off.
But what if there’s a way to skip all that and make things simpler? Introducing: Hardballing.
It’s the healthiest dating trend so far, wherein you freely express your intentions at the outset to clarify whether or not a relationship is possible with the person you’re seeing.
This antidote to modern dating ambiguity is what we’ve all been waiting for. No more push-and-pull or mind games. Just send a hardball and cut to the chase.
So, How Does Hardballing Work?
While hardballing may sound straightforward, here are some things to remember to ensure your approach is effective and not aggressive.
1. Know What You Want.
Before discussing a relationship, you need to know what you’re searching for and what outcome you want from the date.
Ask yourself: How is your heart doing? Are you ready for a serious relationship, or do you simply want to have fun? What are you looking for in a partner?
Be honest with yourself. Only then can you effectively communicate what you want to your date.
2. Wait for the First Date.
There isn’t a set time for when to throw the hardball. But ideally, it should be before you start assuming and expecting the wrong things.
However, don’t throw the ball before your first date. Otherwise, you’re not giving yourselves a fair chance to know each other enough and understand where you’re coming from.
You don’t have to know everything about them. But giving some time to share your respective stories can help you better approach the subject regarding your intentions.
Moreover, talking about it too soon could come off as rigid and transactional. Nevertheless, it shouldn’t take you months either.
3. Have the Hardball Convo.
Once you get a sense of what your date is like, lay down your cards. You can start by asking how singlehood is treating them or sharing your experiences before dating.
You can then ask more direct questions like, “So, how do you think the date will wrap up?” or “Just curious, what sort of relationship are you hoping to find?”
Afterward, let them know if you intend to have something casual or long-term. Discuss your non-negotiables as well.
Be respectful and assertive when hardballing, but avoid being demanding.
The goal is to see if you and your date are on the same page, not to force them into your terms. If you are, great! If not, simply move on.
No More Dating Horrors
After all the breadcrumbing, ghosting, and gaslighting, hardballing is a welcome breath of fresh air.
It might sound like nipping the fun in the bud. However, throwing a hardball is the way to go if you want to spare yourself from the drama.
