FLIRTING

Flirting vs Sexual Harassment: How You Should Charm Women

Miss Matchmaker AFA - Thailand
3 min readApr 4, 2024
A man and a woman flirting in a cafe
Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels

Want to know one of the most effective ways to turn off women? It’s simple. Make her so scared of you that she’ll run away for dear life.

But why would you want that, right?

Men often think they’re sweet and cool when they say their pick-up lines or make out-of-the-blue “romantic gestures.”

But to tell you the truth, forcibly grabbing a woman by her arm or whistling at her neither makes her flattered nor impressed.

When men cross the line, they end up becoming creeps.

If you’re planning to catch the attention of a pretty woman you meet at an event or online, do it correctly by understanding flirting vs sexual harassment.

1. Respectfully Ask Instead of Assuming

Is unwanted flirting harassment?

You harass a woman when you assume she’s open to your advances.

Don’t just butt in when she’s with her friends or even if she’s all by herself. Politely introduce yourself and see if she’s open to conversing with you.

For example, ask her if it’s okay to sit beside her or express your intentions for approaching her.

Observe how she feels about your presence. If she entertains you, she may be interested in getting to know you. However, if she ignores you, has a troubled look, or gives short but polite answers, take it as a “no.”

Unwanted flirting is harassment because it isn’t welcome in the first place.

2. Be Careful with Touching

Physical intimacy can be tricky. What’s appropriate could significantly depend on a person’s culture and upbringing. Some people find it normal to be physically touchy, while others are hypersensitive about it.

In any case, certain forms of touch are unacceptable no matter what culture you come from. It’s a no-brainer that women’s private body parts are hands-off to any man. Doing so is direct sexual harassment.

Also, know your intentions. Often, a woman can feel if there’s malice behind a touch.

For example, there’s a difference between flirting by holding her hand to help her and brushing your hand on her legs to take advantage of her.

If you have indecent intentions, you better back off because that can lead to harassment.

3. Flirting vs Sexual Harassment Depends on Your Context

Flirting is effective when performed in the appropriate context. There’s a difference between exchanging flirty banter when you’re at the office and when you’re in a bar.

While women expect it in the latter, they aren’t likely to be welcome in the former. Know the appropriate behaviors for your given place and situation. Otherwise, you’ll get flagged down or, worse, reported to management.

4. Recognize and Accept Rejection

If a woman is uninterested in your advances, don’t force her to be. She doesn’t have to say “no” for you to leave her alone. As I mentioned, if she’s not paying attention, only briefly answering your questions, or says she’s busy with something else, pick up the cue and take it as a rejection.

Perhaps she’s not open to dating or has other priorities. Be a man and respect her decision. Not only will this help you save face, but it will also save you the time you would have spent with the wrong woman.

Being a Gentleman Makes All the Difference

Your interest is not an excuse to take advantage of a woman. Even if she likes you back, remember to treat her like a true gentleman would.

Be mindful of the differences between flirting vs sexual harassment, and you’ll have more chances of sweeping her off her feet. Otherwise, you might just be spooking her away.

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