ADVICE
Manage Your First Date Jitters; Take Ahold of Your Anxiety
You’ve tried on your umpteenth outfit. You’ve been pacing back and forth while practicing every way to greet them. And every minute, you’ve been checking the mirror to ensure every strand of your hair is in place.
This situation is all too familiar when you’re preparing for your first date.
You’ve been excited about it all week. But at the same time, you’re nervous despite the preparations.
Don’t worry. What you’re feeling are just your typical first date jitters. While they can be a pain in the neck, they’re normal.
You’re hoping your date goes well, so you’re anxious about how things will play out, given that you’re meeting someone for the first time and up close in a romantic setting.
However, don’t let your nerves get the best of you. When left unmanaged, they can be a buzzkill. That said, here are some ways to manage your pre-date nerves.
1. Be realistic
A first date isn’t an audition or a thesis defense. You’re not there to prove to your date how great a person you are and get a perfect score. Although it’s good that you want to make a positive first impression, try to be more authentic.
Instead of pressuring yourself to reach unrealistic standards, think of the date as what it is — an initial meeting to get to know each other. Relax and be yourself, because that’s who your date wants to know.
2. Release the tension
First date jitters aren’t just mental; you feel them in your body. You might sweat profusely, have shaking knees, or develop a bad case of fidgets.
Release your pent-up energy with a walk or light exercise before your date. When you calm your body, you help calm your mind as well.
3. Share how you feel with a friend
Expressing your feelings and troubles in words often makes the heart lighter. So, talk with a trusted friend before going on your date.
Also, hearing someone else’s perspective helps free you from the constraining effects of your negative thoughts. You’ll then realize there’s nothing to worry about.
4. Prepare conversational topics
Since the goal is to get to know your date, prepare some possible questions and topics to aid your conversation.
Bringing them up might sound unnatural, but they will prove helpful during awkward silences. Moreover, making this effort shows your date that you’re genuinely interested. Just don’t continuously ask them one question after another. Otherwise, you’re making your date seem like an interrogation or a job interview.
5. Be mindful of your date
One of the main culprits behind pre-date jitters is overthinking. You can get overly self-conscious and drown in your thoughts. To avoid this, refocus on your date.
Remember that you’re there to get to know them, not to evaluate how good of a date you are. Be attentive to what they say, their facial expressions, and their questions.
The more present you are on your date, the less you’ll think about your imagined troubles, and the more you’ll enjoy your time together.
Don’t Let Your First Date Jitters Discourage You
It’s normal to get nervous about spending time with someone you like. It only shows that you want to give it your all to have the best time together.
So, don’t let your nerves stop you from creating a positive experience that can lead to more.
