REALITY
Maybe It’s Time for You to Consider Dating Someone with Kids
If you start asking people what their dating deal-breakers are, you’re probably gonna hear a repeat of some of the most common ones:
History of cheating or abuse. Different religions. Incompatible sexual preferences.
Children from a previous relationship.
It’s not unusual for a person to balk at the very thought of dating someone with kids. After all, it’s the main reason why divorcees and single parents often have such a hard time looking for a new lover.
Starting a relationship with someone who is also a parent to children that aren’t yours simply sounds like more trouble than it’s worth.
But would you believe me if I told you that it doesn’t always have to be? That dating someone with kids can, in fact, ultimately lead you to find true love?
Setting the Record Straight
No matter how much he’d like to say that all the rumors about being with someone who already has kids are not true, Douglas knows he couldn’t.
Because they are. Most of them, at least.
Doug, a Gulf War vet and father of 7 children — only 3 of which are biologically his — has seen first hand how difficult it can be to pursue, marry, and be a partner to a woman who came as a package deal with 4 other rugrats.
The children hating him on sight? Check.
Being accused of replacing the father? Check.
Having to constantly change plans because the children always come first? Also check.
Dating someone with kids is scary and tough for all the reasons people say it is, and then some.
But Doug also knows he wouldn’t have it any other way. Marrying Louisa and becoming the stepdad to her 4 older daughters was the second chance he’d been waiting for.
With two teens of his own when he met his wife, Doug had been convinced only a fellow parent could understand the kind of commitment he needed in his life.
He wanted someone for the long haul, and dating someone with kids was always going to be his best bet.
An Entirely Different Perspective
Unlike Doug, Marcus did not have kids when he met his better half.
He’d been as much a bachelor as any man in his early thirties could be: friends who liked to live a fast life, a lucrative career, and a face that would’ve been at home on the cover of GQ Thailand.
But after a string of short-lived romances, Marcus knew he was missing something: love, the kind his parents had for almost 5 decades before they both passed away when Marcus was still in college.
Never in his wildest imagination did Marcus expect dating someone with kids — a woman who lived halfway across the world — was what would bring that love to him.
Having met online, Marcus and Phim learned things about each other in bits and pieces.
He works as a photographer in New Jersey. She’s a baker in Bangkok. He loves golf. She hates spicy food.
He’s an only child. She has twins from her high school boyfriend.
Obviously, the fact that he’s considering dating someone with kids hit Marcus hard, but the shock didn’t last long.
He knows it isn’t — and probably never will be — as simple as saying that the person he loves just happens to have children. Phim wouldn’t have agreed to let him be a part of her life if that’s how he saw it.
But in Phim’s family, in her children who loved taking pictures as much as their stepfather, Marcus had found the love his parents had when he was growing up.
Dating someone with kids made him see life and the world in a new light. He became a father and a partner, roles that both fit him like a glove.
From a carefree bachelor, Marcus became a man with a purpose: the pace of his day ran parallel to the twins’ schedule, his job became a way for him to provide for his family, and his handsome face was made even more precious in photographs with his wife and children — all smiling, all happy in love.
