CULTURE | ADVICE
Bringing Home a Southeast Asian Woman
As a Southeast Asian woman myself, I find it interesting how far we’ve come in terms of changing the world for women, particularly women of color.
In dating and relationships, there are still some practices that either remain old school or have yet to really transition on a global scale. Change takes time, after all. What’s important is to know which remnants of tradition we should or shouldn’t continue to promote.
For men who are considering making wives of the women hailing from my region, one thing to keep in mind is the delicate balance in place between contemporary beliefs and old-fashioned ideologies.
A Southeast Asian woman still walks a fine line between these two worlds, and that can affect how she’ll integrate herself if she marries into a family outside her culture.
Meeting the Family
I’ve talked about a few things to know when dating a Thai woman before, but I’m afraid it won’t be enough if you eventually decide to introduce her to your parents.
In Thailand and in many other parts of Asia, the stage in a relationship where couples arrange for each other to meet the family is a really big deal. It’s one of the milestones that can mark the shift between casual dating to committed, long-term relationships.
If you’re bringing your Southeast Asian girl home to meet your folks, don’t be surprised if she makes a fuss about it. You’re practically telling her — if you haven’t already, that is — that you’re in it for the long haul.
Make sure that’s exactly what your intentions are, or you’ll have yourself a disappointed partner who’ll be dismayed and more than a little confused that you made her dress up and be anxious over something that might’ve been just a simple dinner to you.
Best Foot Forward
Southeast Asian cultures are very family oriented, so if you’re welcoming a Southeast Asian woman into your family, odds are she’ll take that not just as an honor but a huge responsibility.
If your girlfriend cooks, she’ll most likely whip up an entire feast. If your parents will be visiting your house instead of the other way around, expect the best hospitality and the best tableware to take center stage. If she’s normally opinionated and loudmouthed, you’ll probably be surprised to find her overly respectful and soft-spoken.
Of course, not all Southeast Asian women will be this way, not even women of the same family tree, but if you do notice these things about your woman, don’t be alarmed. That’s just how much value families and elders have in her culture and in her homeland.
Ties That Bind
As important as this event is to her, she’ll be putting just as much weight on her own family and on the moment it’s her turn to bring you home. For most men, that’s when you know you’ve made it.
One of the best things about the union of households when one of them is the nuclear — and sometimes even extended — family of a Southeast Asian woman is that your brood will expand to numbers you’ve probably never imagined. “The more the merrier” is a concept a lot of people in the region definitely subscribe to.
Beyond the preparation you’ll need to go through for meeting the parents themselves, the impression you’ll make on the relatives will be just as vital. So if you’ve never been particularly family oriented, brace yourself for a bit of culture shock when you finally take that next step with your partner.
Family is integral to conventional Southeast Asian upbringing. If you’re a man planning on making your woman a part of your family sometime soon, expect these things and many more in your future.
